::CIVILIZED PEOPLE::

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Kid on Toilet

“Where’s Hudson?” I looked around, the other kids were heads down on their iPads. “Hudson?” I got up off the sofa and walked to the hallway. “Buddy? Hudson?”

I looked out the window, maybe he’d gone outside. Nope. I lifted my chin and called into thin air,

“HUDSON!!” I caught Gabby’s eye. She gave a head check toward the couch, mouthed the words, “He’s over there.” I nodded and went to see.
Sure enough, there was Hudson, crouched behind the sofa.

“What are you …”
“NannyBoo! I’m busy! Go! Go!!” He waved me away, his face beet red. I got the message. I went around, lifted him up, said,

“Buddy, there’s nothing for you back there,” and – in spite of his wailing objections – carried his stiff, folded body to the bathroom.
By now, he was sobbing.

“I do not want to go in there!”                                                                                                                        
“Well, Buddy, you don’t have a choice. This is where big boys – and all civilized people – do their business.”

“I … I’m sort of a big boy, but … I’m not with those civilized people.” I peeled his pants and underwear off, and sat him on the toilet.

“Well, you need to be with the civilized people. Life’s gonna be tough if you’re not.”

He glared at me.

“Okay, now will you please get out. I need my privacy.”

“Okay. But I’ll be right outside if you need …”

“Yes, I get it. Go. Please go.” I went.

Five minutes later,

“NannyBoo.” I cracked the door and peeked in.

“How you doin’?”

He was sitting there stripped naked, and shot me an exhausted look. Big sigh.

“I’m done.”

“Good job, Buddy.”

As  helped him get his clothes on he asked, “Am I one of those civilized people now?”
“Yes you are!”

“Do they get treats for pooping in the toilet?” I took his sweet little face in my hands, kissed his forehead.                                                                                                                                     
“Today they do.”

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